Cliff Notes – Gary & Linda Taggart – 12/05/2009

DFN: The Tagart’s did another great job of discussing the stress and strain of a job search on a relationship, and more importantly, offered solutions to diffusing the situation.

Gary and Linda, husband and wife

Pulling Together During Times of Loss
12/5/2009 – Gary & Linda Taggart

Gary laid off in Jan 2009, five months search.

Stressful for both husband and wife.
Job loss flares up underlying issues.
Feelings of failure / shame / loss of control / depression
Stress affects physical health

1. make daily progress, how much time?, wide net, not
narrow focus. Be aware of diminishing returns, stop go
do something fun.

2. Provide weekly update to spouse.
Ease anxiety, in a car passenger gets sick, not driver.
Lack of info, assumed to be bad news. Fun to be participant
versus an observers. Sense of teamwork, not an accountable
to spouse. Offer open ended offers of help. Role of a “coach”.

3. Appreciate the time off. It’s a gift. Develop a list of priorities.
Not necessarily time to do a “honey do” list. Ten years from
NOW, will you look back at this time and see what you’ve accomplished?
Gary, wrote a book. It’s not supposed to be 24X7 effort. Need downtime.

4. Work as a team to lower expenses. Figure out what’s important.
Doesn’t mean cutting everything out. Identify needs, ruthlessly cut
out wants. Cut deep, and once. Focus on what you will be doing versus
what you will be doing without. Financial challenges an adventure.

5. Discuss roles and responsibilities. What’s the division of labor in the
household. Don’t except unemployed spouse to become a “god or goddess”
housekeeper.

6. Diffuse stress, exercise, together or separately. Take turns. Listen, don’t
offer advice or opinion unless asked.

7. Tell children what’s going on but don’t bring them done. You’re a role model
for them about how to deal with stress. It’s an adventure.

8. Hold conclusions about what you’re going through loosely. Don’t know why
this is happening. Be receptive to the situation. Look for what the good is.
Don’t know the good from the bad as you’re going through this.

Pace yourself. Do something you’ve always wanted to do.

Pull together as a couple.

Realize this is a difficult time; it’s a season not a sentence.

Best. Regards,

Doug

On Sat, Dec 5, 2009 at 4:40 PM, Doug Neeper <doug.neeper> wrote:

The Taggerts – 12/05/2009
Gary and Linda, husband and wife
www.paycheckmanager.com

Pulling Together During Times of Loss
Gary laud off in Jan, five months search.

Stressful on both husband and wife.
Job loss flares up underliining issues.
Feelings of failure / shame / loss of control / depression

Stress affects physical health
Taggerts were successful

1. make daily progress, how much time?, wide net, not narrow focus. Be aware of diminishing returns, stop go do something fun.

2. Provide weekly update to spouse.

Ease anxiety, in a car passenger gets sick, not driver.
Lack of info, assumed to be bad news. Fun to be participant versus an observers. Sense of teamwork, not an accountable to spouse. Offer open ended offers of help. Role of a “coach”.

3. Appreciate the time off. It’s a gift. Develope a list of priorities. Not necessarily a “honey do” list. Ten years from nw, will you look back at this time and saw what you”ve accomplished. Wrote a book. It’s not supposed to be 24X7 effort. Need downtime.

4. Work as a team to lower expenses. Figure out what’s important. Doesn’t mean cutting everything out. Identify needs, ruthlessly cut out wants. Cut deep, and once. Focus on what you will be doing versus what you will be doing without. Financial challenges an adventure.

5. Discuss roles and responsibilities. What’s the division of labor in the household. Don’t except unemployed spouse to become a “god or godess” houseworker.

6. Diffuse stress, exercise, together or separately. Take turns. Listen, don’t offer advice or opinion unless asked.

7. Tell children what’s going on but dint bring them done. You’re a role model for them about how to deal with stress. It’s an adventure.

8. Hold conclusions about what you’re going through losely. Don’t know why tthis is happening. Be receptove to the situation. Look fir what the good is.

It’s a season not a sentence. Don’t know the good from the bad.

Pace youself. Do something you’ve always wanted to do.

Pull together as a couple.

Realize this is a difficult time; it’s a season not a sentence.

Best. Regards,

Doug

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